One Way Or Another
by Ianuaria
Summary: Picking up the morning after If/Then; follows the characters as they pick up their lives after the revelations in that episode. MerDer. Maddison.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi! New fic._**

 ** _This picks up after If/Then, the trippy alternate reality episode of season eight where Derek is grumpy and Meredith is sweet and everyone is on acid._**

 ** _I've wanted to do a MerDer fic for a while now, and here it is; twenty minutes of stress writing brings to you a fic Iostensibly definitely should not be starting right now, which means I totally will._**

* * *

There is a reason she does not drink. Not much, anyway.

She gets tipsy and then dizzy and then it's a short road from there to shitfaced and puking.

But last night, well, _Yang_ taught her how to slam tequila. Yang. She couldn't say no - she was afraid the girl would whip out a scalpel and stab her. Or something.

And then Dr. Shepherd - _Dr. Shepherd_ , of the sad eyes and frowny mouth - bought her a drink. Single malt scotch. Good stuff, he said. Actually, he bought her several drinks. Many drinks.

Good stuff.

She blinks awake to an unfamiliar ceiling, heavy drapes blocking the weak winter sunlight. An alarm clock to her right informs her, in red numbers, that it is six thirty in the morning, which means that she's already half an hour late for her shift. And to her left...is a man. Staring at her with his familiar sad eyes.

Actually, they don't look very sad right now. They look...mad. Mad. Oh, God. He's naked. _She's_ naked.

They're naked.

This is not her bed.

This is humiliating on _so_ many levels.

And now she's bolting for the bathroom, because there's a reason she doesn't drink.

..

 _Please tell me I didn't_ she begs her bleary-eyed reflection in the mirror.

He's her boss. He's her _boss's_ boss.

He's her boss's boss's husband.

Crap.

She dabs at her mouth with a fluffy white towel, resting her throbbing head against the soft fibres for a second, her throat raw from throwing up. Her lips are puffy and her eyes are puffy and there's a faint bite mark on her neck.

She's wearing Alex's ring. She takes it off, realises she has no pocket to put it in, and puts it back on. It feels heavy, dragging her hand down. She'd like to flush it down the fancy-pants toilet, but it'd probably get stuck and flood the exquisite marble-tiled bathroom and then - Derek - would be _really_ mad.

Why can't she remember what happened last night? All she remembers is Yang leaving and Shepherd sitting down next to her, and then maybe a car, and then this...warped reality where she's naked in her boss's bathroom.

Oh, God. Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd.

 _It's not mine_ he said morosely last night, clinking the ice in his glass. Okay, good. She remembers something. She assumes he meant the baby wasn't his...then who's is it?

Not that it's any of her business, just that it's sort of okay to screw another woman's husband if the woman is pregnant with her lovers baby. No, no it isn't. God, she's going straight to hell.

Thinking of Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd reminds of of Kepner. The bitch. Alex and Kepner - who would have thought?

And thinking of Alex and Kepner reminds her of her missed shift. Her mother is going to be livid.

Shit. Her mother. She never called home last night.

She needs to - she stops dead in her tracks, reaching for the locked door. Whatever transpired last night, she absolutely can not walk out into the bedroom stark naked.

Thankfully, there's a silky peachy-pink...thing hanging on the back of the door. It's clearly Addison's, and she balks at the idea of putting it on. She's stolen the woman's husband, stealing her clothes seems a little cruel.

But she yanks it on anyway, drawing the sash tightly so nothing shows. It's not meant to cover a lot, but it'll do.

He's frantically pawing through the closet when she walks in, dragging a shirt over his head, pulling on pants. She doesn't have the heart to tell him his socks don't match, especially when he says "Addison's in labor."

..

He grabs clothes that must belong to his wife, cramming them into a bag. Most people have a bag packed for the hospital, for the baby. They clearly don't, and he looks utterly out of his depth, so she takes pity on him and helps him pick a onesie and tiny socks and a cap out of the wardrobe in the nursery down the hall. It has zoo animals painstakingly painted on it, and she wonders which of them crouched for hours on the yellow-carpeted floor, wielding a brush, decorating for the baby he never seems excited about and she seems resigned to.

Did they do it together?

"You said -" her voice cracks, and she swallows. "You said it isn't yours. The baby, I mean."

"Addison's family." he says simply.

..

She has no business being here, like she had no business being in his bed last night. _Their_ bed. The Shepherd's bed. She's officially a dirty mistress. But apparently she drove him home last night because she was slightly sobered up, and then he invited her in for a drink she most certainly should not have accepted, and then the rest is history she's eager to forget.

Anyway, his car was at Joe's and his wife is in labor. What was she supposed to do? Leave him there?

Her mother gives her a look filthier than what she's been doing when she shows up forty minutes late sporting wrinkled scrubs and clutching the hastily packed baby bag, bobbing in Shepherd's wake as he strides into Labor and Delivery.

"One at at a time." a nurse says, unconvincingly, looking intimidated by his wild-eyed expression.

"I'm one." he points out, then jabs a thumb in her direction. "She's not coming."

"No, there's already someone in there." she squeaks.

"Who?" he demands.

"Me."

 _Junkie Guy?_

It's him, all six delicious feet of him, in navy scrubs and a smirk. Why is she noticing men?

Well, she's allowed. It's not like she's _engaged_ or anything.

"What are you doing here?" Junkie Guy asks smoothly, shifting his weight so that they can't see past the door as it closes behind him. But she hears a soft cry of pain, and Shepherd's shoulders stiffen.

"I'm her husband."

"Nice to see you remember that."

"Mark, I swear -"

"Yeah, yeah," Junkie Guy - Mark? - sighs, moving aside so Shepherd can go inside. "She wants you. Can't see why, but she does. And she was never a very good liar, not that you remembered that last night, but don't believe a word she says in there."

And just like that it's just her and Mark and the bulging bag in the hallway, and he's smirking at her.

"I assume you're the slutty intern?"

* * *

 ** _Okay, so this is clearly the morning-after. Addison's in labor, Mark's there, Derek's there, Meredith's there, it's a freaking mess._**

 ** _I've always liked preppy goody-two-shoes Meredith from that episode, and misery-Derek and cocky Mark and victimised Addison._**

 ** _Mark and Addison are my two fave people on Grey's, and they inevitably feature in my fics, but this is not Addek._**

 ** _NOT ADDEK you say? I'm trying to write something different for once._**

 ** _This is, I promise, MerDer endgame. With Maddison._**

 ** _Like it? Not?_**

 ** _Let me know!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hi guys ! Thank you for all the amazing feedback on the first chapter - keep it up and make me update faster!_**

 ** _Also, remember this is set in that trippy AU universe - the characters are those AU personalities for now...but you'll definitely be seeing them journeying toward the way they actually are in the regular Grey's universe. Same goes for MerDer - they'll be up and down, in and out for a while, but its MerDer endgame, so yeah._**

 ** _Don't flame me for not going straight to the wedding and two kids. Just saying._**

 ** _Now, happy reading!_**

* * *

"What's your name again?" Mark asks, squinting at her like he's trying to remember.

"Meredith." she replies. "Meredith Weber?"

"Ah. Baby Ellis."

"Wh - Excuse me!" she splutters, feeling her face heat up. "I am _not_ like my mother."

"I meant," he says, raising an eyebrow. "That you look like her."

Oh. And now Hot Junkie Guy thinks she's a nutcase, in addition to her being a homewrecker.

"How do you know the Shepherds?" she asks tentatively, hoping she isn't pushing her luck too far.

"We're friends." he says, smiling grimly. "We're all close friends. Used to be, anyway."

"Used to be?"

"Someone page an attending _now_." Kepner's voice shrills from inside the room; Shepherd slams his way out, looking terrified.

"What?" Mark is on his feet, looking tense. "Derek, _what?_ "

"You lied to me." he spits. "You both lied to me."

"This isn't the time." Mark hisses, seizing Shepherd by the arm and dragging him aside. She can't hear what they're saying, but Shepherd seems to be sagging against the wall while Mark shakes him.

"Meredith."

Oh, crap.

"Yes, Mother?" she answers patiently, knowing there will be hell to pay for her tardiness. Setting an example, and all that.

"Where were you last night?"

* * *

There are lots of choices, tough choices, that you have to make. AP French or History? Premed or not? Med school? Harvard or Yale?

Okay, those were the choices _she's_ faced. Maybe they aren't life or death, but this one definitely is, and she's wishing she had chosen to stay out in the hallway and be interrogated by her mother.

Because the second option was being dragged into the delivery room with Dr. Ryan.

The delivery room that currently contains the (currently terrified) woman her fiancé cheated on her with, the (currently in active labor) woman who's husband Meredith slept with and the baby whose paternity is being yelled about in the hallway.

Well, the baby hasn't made an appearance yet, which is the reason she's here.

The ultrasound blurs, blood flooding into her body as the placenta detaches, Dr. Ryan is yelling for an OR, when she feels a clammy yet surprisingly strong hand clamp around her wrist.

"There's no time." Addison gasps; she's never seen the woman with a single hair out of place, and now she's clutching at her all pale and sweaty. "Grey, there's no time and Kepner's ... an idiot, you have to do it, you have to get Connie to do an- internal podalic-"

"No." Dr. Ryan barks. "The C's safer."

"There's _no time_ , do you hear me?" Dr. Montgomery snarls, gasping as another contraction rips through her, swatting away the hand Kepner proffers. "Do it."

"It hurts-" Dr. Ryan warns.

"Like a bitch, I know." Dr. Montgomery pants. " _Do it._ "

"Get the father." Dr. Ryan snaps to the room in heneral; Addison shakes her head.

"I don't want him in here."

 _Which him?_

"You can't do this alone." Dr. Ryan says, appalled. "Addison."

"Connie, if my baby ends up with anoxic brain damage because you were too slow, I will _end_ you." she promises, her knuckles whitening as she grips the rails of the bed.

"Okay." Dr. Ryan concedes, snapping on gloves. "Grey,get over here, Kepner-"

"Get out."

"Excuse me, Dr. Montgomery?" Kepner squeaks.

"I _said_ ," Addison screams. " _Out._ Do not touch me, you blithering idiot. _Out."_

"Addison?" Derek is yelling from outside the door. "Addie -"

"Shut up." she hears Mark say.

April scurries out, and she sees a flash of Derek's worried face as the door swings shut.

 _Please_ he mouths.

* * *

"It's a girl!" Dr. Ryan beams as a tiny, slippery whitish red body slithers into her hands. "Congratulations."

Addison seems unable to speak, gasping for breath as she clutches her daughter. Her daughter with eyes so blue they can only belong to one person.

"She's beautiful." she says, because it seems like the right thing to say. Because she can't _think_ of anything else to say, because her heart hurts and she has no idea why.

Its Derek's baby, clear as day, Derek's baby with her scrunched up pink face and her rosebud mouth and Addison's hair and his blue, blue eyes.

"Why'd you lie?" she asks as a nurse takes the baby.

"What?" Addison asks, her head falling, exhausted, against the pillows.

"You-" she licks her lips, suddenly nervous, too far in to back out. "You said it wasn't Derek's baby."

She stares at her for a moment, her eyes unreadable. "Meredith..."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" she apologises, disentangling her fingers - Addison decided she needed a hand to hold at the last moment - and getting up.

Addison's eyes seem riveted to her neck, exposed by the wide neck of her gray scrubs. She tugs them up, her fingers brushing against the sore spot she knows is an angry red against her skin.

"You called him Derek." she sighs, sinking against her pillows. "I should have known."

"Dr. Montgomery, I -"

"Addison, please." she says. She looks ...relieved? Relaxed? What the hell is going on? "You've had your forearm up my vagina, you slept with my husband, go ahead and call me Addison."

"I -" she splutters, feeling her face go red as Dr. Ryan and at least three nurses stare at her.

"Addison." Derek roars from the hallway. "For God's sake -"

Addison gestures for her to open the door; she does, and Derek stumbles into the room, steadying himself with a hand against the wall.

"Can we have a minute?" Addison asks, strangled.

"Of course."

They all depart in haste, placing the baby in her mother's arms, Dr. Ryan lingering outside the door until Derek glares at her.

"Just a minute." Addison promises.

* * *

"You lied." he says immediately.

"So I did." she yawns, looking supremely unconcerned at the fact that he is apoplectic with rage, stroking their daughter's tiny cheek.

"Let ... I want to see her." he says, sitting down heavily in the chair that's meant for the father-to-be.

"You couldn't say that without looking at the floor yesterday." she says quietly, smiling as tiny fingers grip hers. "You wanted out, I gave you one."

"I never said that."

"Derek, you didn't have to, you were _miserable_. All year, you've been miserable."

"I wanted the baby, I said I wanted the baby, I was going to try and make things right-"

"It was too late, Derek," Addison sighs. "Too late and too little."

"You _lied_ to me about my own child, Addison, nothing justifies that."

"I know." she breathes. "I know, but I just couldn't do it anymore, Derek, I wanted to-"

"What? Steal my baby? Run off with Mark?"

Her cheeks flood with color, her voice rising. "It was never like that with us."

Derek laughs mirthlessly, pacing restlessly at the foot of the bed. "You practically told me as much, remember? _I'm leaving you, Derek._ You said it, and you were lying then, too."

"I wasn't lying." she says quietly.

"You said you _loved him._ "

"I thought I did."

"Or you thought _he_ did." Serek sneers coldly. "And when he dumped you you came running right back to me, didn't you."

"We were never together," Addison replies heatedly, cradling their daughter. "We never...we - I never cheated on you, Derek, yes I hated you for the way things were in New York, and yes, I wanted to leave, and yes, Mark and I ... we still are. But I stayed because it was the right thing and you stayed because that's just who you are, and we moved here and now here we are."

"You love him." Derek states, not disbelieving, not angry. Just...acknowledging.

"Yes."

"You only stayed ..."

"Because you said you wanted to make it work. Because you-" Addison's voice cracks, and she ducks her head, embarrassed. "You said you were sorry for how things were in New York."

"I am." he says softly, sinking into the chair beside her bed, eyes still trained on the snuffling, sucking bundle in her arms. "I'll always be, Addie, we had good years, lots of them, and I don't regret them..."

"But they're over." she sighs, one hand cupping their daughter's tiny head. She smiles, her face relaxing, and he sees the exhaustion etched in her skin, a wave of guilt sweeping over him.

She moved to Seattle for him, so he could start over, so he could have the opportunity he wanted. She carried his child for nine months, with the bare minimum of enthusiasm or help from him. She was willing to lie, to ruin her reputation and ruin her marriage, to give him the out he was too cowardly to ask for.

"Addie." he says again, tracing her knuckles with one hand. "I'm sorry."

"Our marriage is over." she says, still in that soft, wondrous voice, like she can't believe it.

There's no point apologising, no space to beat around the bush. Twelve years are crumbling around their ears as they speak, but the noise is sweeter than any he's heard in a while.

"This is sad." he says, for lack of anything else to say, and wonders how they got from the starry-eyed med students who couldn't keep their hands off each other to the jaded, tired adults laying their marriage to rest.

"It's all my fault." she whispers, folding a corner of the blanket over a rosy fist.

"It takes two to wreck a marriage, Addison, I did my fair share."

More than.

But this isn't the time, or the place to reveal his disgusting betrayal, not when she's barely awake, sore and exhausted and weak.

He'll tell her later.

"You slept with Meredith," she says. A statement, not a question.

A question might have been better, a question gives you room to explain why, and what, and where.

A statement means she knows already, and that she doesn't expect an explanation.

Because she doesn't expect better from him...or maybe because she no longer cares.

* * *

"Where have you been?" her mother rolls her eyes as she slides into the room, guiltily ducking into a seat next to Yang, who looks...hungover? Can androids _get_ hangovers?

Somehow, saying _giving Addison Shepherd an episiotomy_ seems inappropriate in front of all the woman's residents, so she mutters something about a patient and hopes her mother doesn't push it.

"Is she okay?" April asks desperately, her cheeks furiously red. "Meredith-"

"Shut it, Virgin Mary." Yang says coolly, cutting her off. "You want to know, find out yourself."

"Thanks." she mutters when April turns away, positively sweating by now.

"Can't stand her either." Yang grunts in response, swigging coffee. "What is this about again?"

"New interns." she reminds her. " five each."

"Excellent." Cristina smacks her lips, sitting up. "Slave labor."

"We should be creating a healthy learning environment," Alex frowns. God, she could just punch him. He looks terrified of being in the same room as her, avoiding her gaze and staring at hee when he thinks she can't see.

"Yes," Cristina smirks. "We should be kissing people in offices, it's a great team building exercise."

She can't help but snort her coffee up her nose at this, and Yang looks surprised - and pleased - at having gotten a reaction out of her.

"Meredith." her mother says, looking faintly annoyed. "Is something funny?"

"No." she says immediately, dabbing her stinging nose with a wad of tissues Charles passes her under the table. "Sorry."

"Well, as you all know." Ellis says brightly, standing up. "We are welcoming a new first year resident today, along with the new interns -"

"Izzie's replacement." someone mumbles.

"- I would like to welcome Dr. Margaret Pierce."

 _"Maggie?"_ She actually spits a mouthful of coffee across the table this time; it sends a very satisfying arc of brown droplets across the front of Alex's lab coat.

"Hi, Mer."

* * *

 ** _So, Maggie's here. I thought since, you know, Richard and Ellis are MARRIED TO EACH OTHER, there wouldn't have been a reason for Ellis to give her baby away. Maybe in this universe she had the guts to tell Richard, who had the guts to leave Adele...and they were one dysfunctional family. Maybe._**

 ** _And yes, it's Derek's baby. I never believed Addison at the end of that episode, mainly because Mark asks her why the hell she said that to Derek. And because she's just so...emotionless when she says it, like she just wants to get rid of Derek and put him out of his misery._**

 ** _Any name suggestions? I always imagined them with a girl, though - shame they wasted all those fabulous hair genes._**

 ** _Pretty please with a cherry on top - review!_**

 ** _It makes me update faster, and better. Plus I love hearing what you guys do and don't like, and what you wnat to see next._**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Thank you for all the amazing feedback on the last chapters!_**

 ** _Keep it coming, please!_**

* * *

"You were going to Hopkins." she hisses, seizing her sister by the elbow. "What the hell?"

"I transferred at the last minute." she shrugs. "There was a vacancy here, and I missed you guys." She smiles brightly, squeezing Meredith's hands. "It's gonna be great, Mer, all of us are going to be working together-"

"Maggie, dear, you're with Dr. Hunt. Trauma. It's on the -"

"Mother." Maggie grits her teeth in a sickening smile. " _Dr. Weber_. I can find it."

"Nothing wrong if you can't." their mother says breezily. "Oh, and your father wants you two to meet him for lunch at one."

"See?" Meredith demands as Ellis swoops away, Bailey trailing forlornly behind her. "This is what its like. She treats me like a baby. She's going to treat you like a baby. Nothing is about you anymore, Mag, it's all about her, you set one toe out of line and she's worried you're going to make her look like an idiot."

Maggie rolls her dark eyes, patting her on the back. "You're too dramatic, Mer. Hey, do you think I can get some time on Cardio? I mean, trauma's great, and everything, but I really think Cardio is a better fit-"

"Take it up with your mother." she answers, which is rude and makes her feel guilty when Maggie's hopeful face crumples, but she did warn her.

But she's Maggie, relentlessly cheery and friendly, and she spots Alex across the room, instantly perking up. "Alex! Hi! Hey guys, should we go get a drink after work? I totally need to discuss wedding stuff - Mer, I refuse to wear pink - and I haven't seen Alex in ages-"

Cristina snorts with laughter as Alex, twitching nervously, waves at Maggie and backs quickly out of the room. Maggie stares after him, confused.

"What's with him?"

"We...uh, we called it off." Meredith starts, closing her eyes. She can feel the beginnings of a monstrous headache pounding behind her eyes, and Maggie's piping voice is starting to grate.

"What?"

* * *

"Grace."

"Huh?" he stutters. His head is heavy and foggy. Addison looks as exhausted as he feels, but she has the excuse of having recently given birth.

"Grace." she repeats, stroking their daughter's hair as she sleeps. "We all need a little bit of it right now, and she looks like a Grace."

As if in answer, she opens her startlingly blue eyes, waving a tiny fist at them. He laughs, incredulous that this tiny being, who has filled him with more warmth and joy than he's felt in a long time, is actually real. That her tiny limbs and shrill cries and flitting eyes are something they made together, him and Addison. "She agrees."

Grace snuffles and squeaks, a tiny foot escaping her blankets; he tucks her into the crook of his arm, bouncing her like the nurse showed him before she can start to howl. She quiets, staring up at him with her unfocused blue gaze, examining him.

"Derek." Addison says behind them, wincing as she shifts in the bed. "Where do we go from here?"

"Home." he says, cupping Grace's head as he holds her upright. "At home, you have a nursery with animals all over it - I painted those, just so you know - and its right across the hall from Mommy and me, so you-"

"Derek." Addison says, shaking her head as if in pity. "Did you really think it would work out that way?"

* * *

It takes her a while to find her way to the ER - not that she's going to admit that to her mother - and she's sure the gaggle of interns trailing behind her think she's a moron. Well, she'll show them. She didn't graduate from med school at twenty three because she's a moron.

"Move!" a large orange haired man bellows at her; he's barrelling down the hall with a gurney, a dark haired young woman writhing and moaning on top of it. She catches a whiff of vomit just beifre it clips her in the side and sends her flying into a solid, warm... chest. Very muscly chest, belonging to a man with the most freaking gorgeous pair of eyes she's ever seen on a man, except for the fact that they look annoyed at her.

"Damn it." the beautiful man snaps, shoving at her. "Either help or get out of my way."

"Avery." the orange haired man yells - Hunt, it says on his lab coat - "It's your junkie."

The beautiful man - Avery - groans, whipping his stethoscope from his neck to press it to the young patient's chest, eyeing the monitors.

"She's crashing." Hunt mutters. "She made off with a bunch of oxy yesterday with this idiot's ID card -" he glares at Avery. "Looks like her junkie friends decided to stab her cause she wouldnt share."

There are three gaping wounds in the woman's pale skin, dark red in the fluorescent lighting, oozing blood that Hunt is trying to stop, Avery backing away, wringing his hands - what's wrong with him - Hunt is yelling at him to get back in there, but Avery is obviously shaken.

"I did this, Lucille's gonna die and it's my fault." he muttering, grabbing at his short hair. "I did this."

"Jesus, what an idiot." a red haired girl mutters, shoving her way into the scrum around the bed. "Pupils are pinpoint, she's tachy - okay, push 2 of Narcan-"

She and her tittering interns press into the wall, watching in fascination as the redhead works, her hands fast and deft, applying pressure to the stab wounds, pushing the drug through the IV, checking the patient's pupils, Hunt looking on in approval, and she almost seems to have got it under control when her blood pressure plummets again.

"What the -" the redhead says, surprised. Avery is now as white as the wall behind him, and Hunt steps up, looking puzzled.

The stab wounds. She can't really see the ECG from here, but she's pretty sure, and she butts Avery out of the way to see better.

"What are you doing?" Hunt demands as she barks for an eighteen gauge, repeating his words as she positions the ultrasound probe.

"Pericardial effusion." she explains, splashing betadine liberally over the woman's grimy sweaty chest. She can see where she needs to go on the ultrasound, and her hands are steady, but all she can hear in her head is _don't poke the ventricle don't poke the ventricle don't poke the ventricle_ in time with her own racing heart.

"Who the hell are you?" Hunt asks again as she draws back on the syringe, dark blood filling it as she goes; the monitors stop screaming and the room breathes a collective sigh of relief.

"Margaret Weber." she pants, straightening up. "Nice to meet you, sir."

* * *

Chaos. It seems to be the prevailing state of her hospital today, which is making her very short tempered and irritable. It's not a good quality for a Chief of Surgery to have, but she can't help it.

First of all, there's Meredith, the silly girl; she kept Maggie's coming to Seattle Grace a secret, hoping that Meredith would be, at the least, pleasantly surprised. Instead, she just looked annoyed. And speaking of Meredith, she should probably call and cancel the Rainier Club, which promises to be an awkward conversation - nothing more embarrassing than your fiancé cheating on you. With Kepner, of all people. She wonders what Meredith lacks that April - ordinary, plain, nervy April - has.

And Alex. Such a disappointment. She really did like him, she reflects ruefully. He was such a sweet and earnest boy, so pliable, always eager for her advice. Meredith should never have let him slip away - and what was that with Derek Shepherd, in the morning? He and Meredith came in together, reeking of alcohol, puffy and tired. That girl has absolutely no judgement.

She fervently hopes nothing happened between Meredith and Derek - Meredith is brilliant, on track for Chief Resident, she doesn't need Derek's doom and gloom bogging her down.

She remembers the day he applied here; she'd been surprised, recognising his name instantly. He was known for flashy surgeries and impossible saves, but lately he seemed to have dropped off the radar. That was a year ago, and the main reason she'd accepted his application was because she knew Addison would be part of the deal - her ticket to being the best neonatal center on the West Coast, second only to the one Addison left behind in New York.

And now she has Addison's threats of resignation looming over her head, something fishy going on with Derek and her daughter, and a pushy new plastics guy showboating all oer the hospital. She wonders briefly if she should just fire the He-Shepherd and his resident raincloud and hire Sloan instead. She would, if she were convinced that Addison wouldn't skip out.

Addison. She looked ... absorbed, when she went to see her. The baby's gorgeous, of course, and Grace is a lovely name, but she never pictured Addison as the type to go all mommy the minute she gave birth. She thinks she'll give her two weeks - it _was_ a difficult birth - before she asks her to get back to work. That's fair.

She's almost in her office, lamenting the pile of paperwork awaiting her regarding yesterday's absconding drug addict and Avery's stupidity - really, she must have a talk with Catherine about that boy, he's so distracted these days - when April skids up to her, gasping for breath.

"Chief, Dr. Weber did a pericardiocentesis in the ER." she gasps, bending over.

Good. So Meredith did something worthwhile today.

She must not have looked suitably impressed, because April shakes her head. "The other Dr. Weber."

"Well, Richard doing one is hardly news." she snaps, suddenly irritated. This stammery mess of a girl is the reason Meredith was so upset last night - the reason Meredith possibly slept with Derek, the reason she may lose Addison, and the reason Richard is so disappointed with her.

She can't help it. She's never been good at comforting either of their daughters, that was always Richard's domain. Meredith, especially, with her moods and her crying and her disturbing affinity for tragedy.

"No, Dr. Weber as in Maggie, your other daughter-"

Maggie is such a childishly unprofessional nickname, she thinks in disgust in the second before it kicks in - Margaret the first year resident has done a pericardiocentesis.

Why is her family so determined to ruin her day?

"You couldn't have specified that sooner?" she snarls at April. She should have stayed away from Alex, she knew he was engaged to Meredith. This woman hurt her daughter, she realises suddenly, and she feels a pulsing wave of anger. "Go down to the pit, do not let me see you again, and try not to kill anyone."

Except she also needs to get to the ER, which means she has to share a very awkward elevator ride with April.

"Dr. Weber-"

"What?"

"I'm very, very, sorry for what -"

"Scut." she replies furiously, gathering her lab coat around herself as she steps off the elevator. "For a week, and it'll be a month if you open your mouth again."

* * *

The instant it's over, Dr. Margaret Weber steps away, peeling off her gloves, looking stricken.

"Oh my god." she whimpers. "She's going to kill me."

"Who?" he asks, looking around for Kepner, who seems to have vanished. She was excellent today, quick, sure, steady. Avery, on the other hand...

"You thinking about Cardio?" he asks the trembling Margaret, who shakes her head furiously.

"No, my mo- Ellis, I mean, Dr. Weber, she thinks I'm great in trauma-"

"You are," he says. "But you should consider Cardio, I've never even seen Callie - my wife, she's head of Cardio - do a pericardiocentesis that fast."

"Oh, honey." a dark haired woman says behind him, smiling. "No need to praise me."

He feels his face flush. "Cal, I just meant - you should have seen her, it was amazing."

"Bet she popped the ventricle." says Yang, rolling her eyes. "Amateur."

"Of course I didn't." Margaret says defensively.

"Of course not." Callie says. "Dr. Yang, meet Dr. Weber - Ellis Weber's daughter." she stresses the last words, raising an eyebrow at Yang, who looks unruffled.

"I know who she is." she shrugs. "First day here, you should probably take it easy."

Margaret looks like she might be gearing up for a retort, but she backs away and leans against the wall, glaring, while Yang examines the patient.

"Be careful." Callie hisses at Yang. "You don't want to get on Ellis' bad side, do you?"

"I don't care." Yang replies, snapping off her gloves. "Congratulations, kid, you got lucky."

And she stomps away, her hair swinging in a black sheet behind her. He watches her go, her slim shoulders squared like she's going into battle. He can feel Callie's eyes on him.

"Everything okay?" she murmurs, her hand warm on his bicep. "Listen, I'm going to the Shepherds' around eight, to take them dinner - we were so exhausted, remember, that first night with Tess - you want to come?"

"Yeah." he says, a beat too late; Callie looks hurt, but Ellis herself is sweeping towards them, and before he can reply she's disappeared after Yang.

* * *

"What were you thinking?" she demands, taking Maggie aside. "You could have killed that woman."

Maggie looks jittery, jumpy, jerking out of her grasp. "I did it, I did the perfect pericardiocentesis and she's not dead, I saved her life."

"Dear." she says, a little firmly. "Trust me. You are gifted. You will be a good trauma surgeon, you're quick, you're smart-"

"With all due respect, Chief," Hunt breaks in. "She shows promise in Cardio. Kepner, on the other hand-" he lets out a low whistle. "Never thought I'd say this, but Kepner would be a hell of a trauma surgeon."

"Dr. Hunt, make sure that patient makes it to the ICU." she snaps. Really, all her male surgeons seem intent on getting on her nerves today. One Weber in Cardio is enough.

Hunt leaves with the patient, leaving her with her excited daughter and a pale Avery.

"Jackson." she begins, but he interrupts her.

"April saved her, she's the one who did what I couldn't." he mumbles dispiritedly. "Chief, I've been meaning to speak to you about changing my focus-"

"Nonsense, your mother personally asked Dr. Hunt to take you on." she replies. "Go. Rest, or whatever. I expect you back in an hour."

He shuffles off, leaving her with Maggie.

"What happened with Mer and Alex?" she asks, wrinkling her nose. "Are they really-"

"Its embarrassing." she sighs. "Meredith caught Alex with April Kepner-"

 _"April_ ?" Maggie shrieks. "Mom, I liked her! Oh god, I was nice to her! I was nice to a ... a fiancé - stealer!"

She doesn't have the heart to tell her hyperventilating daughter that it's entirely possible her beloved sister is a _husband_ stealer. She sends her off to do sutures instead - she can't mess that up - and goes up to the ICU to see the junkie who's caused so much trouble.

"Have you notified the police?" she asks Owen. Close up, he looks wan, and she hopes it isn't the old war thing again. It was a real mess last time, he was out for a week and Callie was part-time. She shudders at the memory.

"Yeah, and she's settled in. I'll keep you posted on her."

"Thank you." She watches him trudge down the corridor and makes a mental note to ask him to see Dr. Wyatt.

Inside, the nameless girl is still, her face slack, pale under the grime the nurses wiped away. Her long dark hair is knotted and dirty, her fingernails bitten to the quick. The piercing in her lip has been removed for the ET tube, leaving a raw little hole that makes Ellis wince.

Her skin is clammy to the touch, sticky where the betadine was splashed on, and there's a pervasive smell of vomit in the closed room. She stirs a little, then more, straining against the sift restraints they've put on; her dark eyes open suddenly, wide in panic.

Those eyes. There's something just so...familiar about them, that raw gleam of intelligence, but then the girl begins to cough and it's gone.

She yells for a nurse as she pushes the girl down, unwinding the tape around the tube and slowly extracting it firm her throat. About halfway through, she realsises Ellis is just trying to help and settles down, hacking and coughing once the tube is out.

Ellis pours her a cup of water; she accepts it gingerly, watching her the whole time she drinks it. The piercing has started to bleed, trickling down her chin like a Halloween vampire, staining the rim of the cup. Ellis dabs at it with a cotton pad, letting the girl hold it to her lip.

"What's your name?"

"Who's asking?" the girl says belligerently.

"You can tell me or you can tell the police." she says sternly; but not too much. This girl reminds her, inexplicably, of her Meredith, naive under her tough exterior.

"Lucille Ball."

"And I'm Marilyn Monroe." she sighs. "try again."

"Lexie," she says after a long pause, after she's stared into Ellis' eyes so long she's starting to feel discomfited. "Lexie Grey."

* * *

She skips lunch with her father and Maggie to hide in a supply closet, calling the club and the caterer and the florist and all the other people her mother somehow managed to book yesterday, between surgeries and meetings. She must really have been excited about the wedding.

She's actually starving, but she's headed into surgery with Bailey in ten minutes - necrotic bowel, yippee, but stil better than the endless stream of postops she's been handling for Torres - and she doesn't want to brave the cafeteria anyway.

She used to be one of those judgy people, though. The ones who point and stare and giggle. Not anymore, though. Now she knows what it's like to be on the other side.

She's kicking at a box of Foleys when the door creaks open, the stream of light flickering as someone comes in, and then slams it shut again.

She stays quiet in her corner, hoping whoever it is will just grab whatever they need and disappear, but they don't.

Instead, they sink onto the floor in front of her, looking regretful.

"Dr. Shepherd."

"Dr. Weber. Meredith." he starts, looking unsure. "I swear I didn't follow you in here."

"Right."

"I just...needed some space. I was in the nursery, with Grace - we named her Grace - and I..." he trails off.

"Pretty name." she ventures.

"Thanks. Addie thought of it."

"How's Addison?"

"She's...good." he says thoughtfully, like his wife's wellbeing isn't something that's often on his mind. "Tired, obviously, but fine. Grace is doing great too." He says the last line with considerably more enthusiasm, his eyes lighting up.

"When do they get to go home?"

 _Home, to the place where you cheated on your wife?_

His expression is instantly guarded, the warmth vanishing from his eyes. "They're processing the paperwork now."

"That's good."

"Yeah." They lapse into silence, his legs sprawled in the narrow aisle between the metal shelves, close enough to almost touch hers. He's wearing gis wedding band, solid, heavy gold, glinting dully under the light. She wore Alex's diamond last night, both of them betraying other people.

Hang on a minute. _She_ wasn't betraying anyone- Alex cheated first.

Derek, on the other hand... he cheated on his wife, his amazing beautiful brilliant wife who was, in fact, in labor. With his baby.

"I guess I owe you an explanation." he says when she catches his eye.

"No," she replies, starting to get up and almost tripping over his legs. "All you owe me is to stay away from me...and stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" he asks, bemused.

"Like you've seen me naked!"

"But," he smirks. "I have."

"You're my boss."

"I'm your boss's boss."

"Exactly."

"Sit down."

" _Excuse_ me?"

"Sit. Down." he rolls his eyes. "And listen."

She takes a minute to glare at him, then flops onto her box again.

"Don't feel guilty about last night." he says, sincerely, withdrawing his legs so she doesn't have to tuck hers under her. "Addie and I...no one knows the reason we came here, to Seattle. All they see is the perfect couple they want to see - and I won't lie, we _were_ that couple, years ago, but we aren't anymore. We haven't been, for a while, and -" his voice cracks a little. "We can't be."

"In New York, well, it sounds ... horrible. Selfish. I know, believe me. But Addie...she's an amazing doctor, and a brilliant surgeon, and she never has to work for it. I'm not saying she doesn't work hard, because she does, but it's natural for her. Instinct. Me, I have to slog for hours in libraries and skills labs and...for a while, it was like she pushed me, to be better, but then somewhere it changed and I was a little jealous. I started putting work before Addie, before the rest of my family, and she and Mark, they...spent a lot of time together. My fault, really. And then, one day, I come home earlier than I told Addie I would, and there's something different. I can feel it. There's a jacket, at the foot of the stairs, not mine, and I realise the jacket is a jacket I recognise...Mark's jacket."

She draws in a breath, pity filling her heart. Poor Derek. She had no idea Addison-

"And I go upstairs, knowing my life is about to change...and i find them sitting on our bed. Looking at me. And Addie says, 'Derek, enough. You're either in, or I'm out.' and she told me... she told me she loved Mark."

He turns away from her, running a hand through his hair. "So I decided we'd move here. Fresh start, you know, away from Mark, all the distractions...thought I'd be happier here. Addie tried, I tried, we're perfect for the public, we bought a house, she decorated...it was okay. We might have been okay, in time, and then Addie tells me she's pregnant, and all of a sudden I couldn't imagine it, I didn't want the responsibility of a child when I was already struggling with my career, and I took it out on her - I've been the worst husband - but she stuck with me until she couldn't take it anymore and then she was so desperate she _lied_ to me about the baby just to let me think it was okay to leave."

He's quiet for a minute, drawing his hand across his eyes, and she tactfully refrains from speaking.

"And that's why, Meredith, you shouldn't feel guilty. You're not a homewrecker - there wasn't a home to wreck by the time you came along."

"I'll keep that in mind." she says lightly, touching his shaking shoulder. "Take care, Derek."

* * *

 ** _Slow burn MerDer is the best kind, IMO._**

 ** _As the title suggests, this story is about hiw even though the AU characters started out so different from the real show ones, they end up the way they are in canon. This fic will include a little of all of them, but mostly MerDer, Maddison, Lexie, Ellis, and Richard._**

 ** _Suggestions? Requests? Feelings? Leave them all in the reviews, please!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_I was surprised that you liked Ellis' POV...thought a lot of people might not. But I enjoyed writing her, she was really great and had a cool sense of humor. So of course Shonda killed her._** ** _Anyway, read on!_**

* * *

Mistakes. She's made them, covered them, learned from them and regretted them.

She's been forgiven for them, hated fir them, laughed at and ridiculed.

This, though, right in front of her? One of her biggest mistakes, the one that could cost her her whole, carefully built life.

Lexie Grey. Thatcher's daughter.

She knew about her, of course. She knew he married Susan, that they had a baby. She sent a gift, in fact, after she was born. A gesture of goodwill.

Her ex-husband is Lexie's father. He's Meredith's father - the father she asked about twenty times a day for years after the divorce. Crying and pleading at first, then resigned, then finally scathing.

He never called, never asked to see Meredith. It was, Ellis supposes, better this way. Meredith could grow up to be the star she knew she would be, unencumbered by Thatcher's mediocrity. And she did.

Richard is, for all intents and purposes, Meredith's father. He taught her to ride a bike (Ellis helped.) He went to Father's Day. He vetted boyfriends and taught her to drive and practiced dancing with her in her high heels before prom. Richard is her father.

Thatcher poured her cereal.

But Lexie is not Ellis' daughter, or her stepdaughter, or any responsibility of hers at all. So, she tells herself, it's not her business.

And so, she says nothing.

"Is there anyone we can call for you?" she asks stiffly.

"No." the girl scowls darkly, teenage Meredith etched on her features. She can't be more than twenty-two. Thatcher married Susan the year after she and Meredith left, she calculates. The girl was born maybe a year later.

"You said... your sister works here?" Jackson says, stepping into the room and closing the door neatly behind him. She refrains from groaning with the utmost effort. The boy has been stepping on her toes since yesterday.

"Yes." Lexie says guardedly. "But she doesn't ... know me."

"You can't go home alone." Jackson persists. He's so much like Catherine it isn't even funny. "You need someone to-"

"There. Is. No one." Lexie grits her teeth. "Let me sign whatever the hell I have to and get me out of here."

"You have three puncture wounds in your chest wall, you're going nowhere." Jackson assures her. "But...I bet since your sister works here, and is probably a doctor...we could let you go a little earlier. She could help you."

Lexie opens her mouth. Hesitates. It's clear that the hospital, for whatever reason, is making her nervous. She wants out.

Ellis searches frantically for something to say, to stop the words tumblimg from Lexie's mouth, to keep the secret just a little longer - but her mind deserts her at the last moment.

"Meredith. Her name is Meredith Grey."

 _Weber_ Ellis thinks feebly. Meredith is no Grey.

* * *

"Derek."

Perfect.

" _Derek_."

Poker face, he thinks to himself. Keep walking.

"Hey, Golden Gloves!" Mark bellows; half the people milling around the wait area pause to stare. Great.

He ducks his head and walks a little faster to the elevators, hopingnhis ywars of track have made him faster than Mark, who (of course) played football. He knows from experience that it hasn't.

Mark catches up to him just as he's pushing the button for the seventh floor, wedging himself through the doors just as they begin to close. "You deaf?"

He pretends to be mute as well, pressing his lips together. How slow _is_ this elevator?

"Where are you going?" Mark asks instead, looking impressively unwinded by their dash through the corridor.

"You look constipated when you do that," Mark says seriously, peering closely at him. "You aren't, are you?"

"Of course not." he spits, before realising that was exactly what Mark was after.

"Good. Or maybe your little resident could have given you an enema."

" _Shut_ up."

"Why? Are her...medical skills not up to par? Or did you not bother about those at all, just her-"

"None of your business." he says, glaring at the numbers ticking slowly by. Three floors to go. Mark shakes his head disparagingly at him.

"I thought you had better taste."

"Clearly, I have terrible taste in women." Derek mutters, scuffing the floor with his sneaker. He stops, because Addison hates when he does that. Then he remembers what Addison said to him, and starts scuffing with a vengeance.

Mark's face turns ruddy. "Addie was an exception, then."

"Where do you get off defending my wife?" he demands furiously, turning to Mark.

"Because you never do," Mark snarls back. "You're a shit husband, Derek, you have been for years. Don't blame her for your marriage falling apart."

"She told me she was _in love with you_ ," Derek reminds him. "And I was supposed to be Husband of the Year after that?"

Mark snorts derisively. "You never were, except the first few years. God, you two were nauseating then."

"You probably enjoyed it." Derek spits. "Seeing as you couldn't keep your hands off her."

He doesn't realise for a moment why his face is searingly hot, or why he can see little sparks dancing across Mark's face. Then he realises he's been punched.

"You-"

"Shut it." Mark says calmly. "I taught you to throw a punch. You can't get one up on me, so listen. Addison - it wasn't a game. With her, it was _never a game._ I waited. I did the right thing. We told you everything, and when she said she wanted to try to make things work with you? I backed off. I never called after you guys left New York. You're my family, Derek, you're all I have but I still let you go. _That's_ how I feel about her, so you don't get to cheapen that. Got it?"

Amd then he strides off the elevator ahead of him, leaving him with a rising red mark on his jaw and a staring horde of nurses.

..

"You know, it wasn't supposed to be like this." he whispers, cradling her little body semi-expertly while he tucks the ends of her pink blanket in. She stares at him, one small hand waving aimlessly.

"I'm sorry," he continues, capturing her hand to tuck it in; she grasps his finger with a surprisingly strong grip and he smiles. "I love you, and your mom loves you, but-"

"Dr. Shepherd."

"What." he snaps irritably, turning around. He startles Grace, who whimpers and then starts to wail.

It's Bailey, quivering and stuttering. Addison did a rather accurate impression of her one night after a couole of strong martinis, wringing her hands and stammering.

"Uh, Dr. Shepherd - the other one, your wife...I mean, your...you know, the other Shepherd-"

"Addison." he supplies.

"Yes, her. She, uh, she wants the baby?"

"Are you asking if she wants to keep her child in the long term?" he asks wearily. "Or telling me she wants the baby right now? Because I'm fairly sure she'd choose the second option."

"Yes sir, you're right sir, I meant the second option-"

"Where is Addison?" he asks kindly, with a great deal of effort. Addison is always a stickler for being nice to the help.

Although he's certain she won't count what happened last night as _being nice._

"I'm here." she announces, swiveling a wheelchair neatly into the doorway of the nursery. "Bailey, I plan to take my baby home _today_."

He sighs as Bailey starts spluttering her apologies, gently bouncing a screaming Grace. "Bailey, thanks for your help. I'll let you know if we need anything."

He sinks into the rocking chair by the window, holding his daughter to his shoulder, rocking gently. She howls louder, feet drumming his chest.

"Give." Adsison rolls her eyes at him, cooing at the little red face as she tries to soothe her.

"She's probably hungry." says a nurse brightly. "Dr. Shepherd-"

"Yes?" they chorus.

The nurse flushes. "Um. Montgomery-Shepherd. I know you're the best there is with babies, but I've got three of my own, and trust me, it's always harder when they're yours." She smiles encouragingly. "Go ahead."

"What?" Addison asks blankly, forehead creasing as the shrieks increase in volume.

"Feed the baby." the nurse prompts. "I can leave, you might be a little shy, since you're my boss-" she pales suddenly. "And I should not have mentioned that. Okay. Leaving."

And she's gone, leaving a stunned Addison and a useless-feeling Derek in her wake.

"I'll, uh," she says uncomfortably, shifting the baby in her arms, fiddling with the buttons on her shirt.

"Should I -" he gestures to the door then sits back down. "Addie, I've seen you naked more times than anyone cares to know about. I'm not going to hide every time she need to eat."

"Fine." Addison mutters in reply, but she still drapes a blanket over her shoulders. Winces, tapping Grace's foot. "Little piranha."

She snuffles greedily, kicking contentedly. "Guess she was just hungry." he says, bemused.

"It's hard."Addison admits, worry etched across her exhausted face. "I know how to make them better. I don't think I've ever had to take care of a baby that was, you know, healthy."

The only babies he's seen up close have been his sisters', but even then he was the dotinguncle and occasional babysitter. The thought of being solely responsible for the wellbeing of this tiny person is enough to bring his heart hammering into his mouth.

"It's going to be fine." he says mechanically.

"How?" she hisses, gesturing with the hand not clamped to Grace. "How can you even say that Derek, we're not even together-"

"We're still her parents." he hisses back. "We love her."

"That's not enough, we were in love and look at us now!"

"You're one to talk." he says, stung. "You told me you wanted out of our marriage before we even moved here."

"And yet here I am." she whispers loudly.

"Well, honey, it isn't like I dragged you here-"

"Did you just call me honey? _Don't_ call me honey." she replies, checking on Grace.

"Fine. _Dr. Shepherd_ , you agreed to come. You said you wanted to try again. Not to mention the _very_ lucrative contract Ellis dangled-"

"Not that again." she groans. "You're still jealous?"

"No!" he emphasises. "I'm just saying...we're both responsible for what happened to our marriage. I'm saying Grace deserves both her parents. I'm saying-"

"A lot of things. You are saying a lot of things." Addison mumbles, stroking Grace's back. "The way I see it, there are three options - one, we stay together, be miserable, and make Grace's life miserable. Two, we ... go our own ways, but we're both happier and Grace doesn't have to deal with cranky bickering parents." She coos the last few words, lifting the baby to her shoulder and rubbing her back.

"And three?" he asks, hastily draping a cloth over Addison's shoulder. "You only said two."

"There is no third option." Addison admits. "All I know is that I love you." she says to Grace, turning her head to kiss her belly.

"You might be right about the second option." he concedes.

Grace burps.

* * *

"Hey." Yang says, sounding insultingly surprised.

"I study." Meredith replies. "I study all the time. You don't have to look so shocked to see me in the library."

"Did I say I was surprised?" Yang asks, sitting down beside her and flipping open her laptop.

"No." she answers, momentarily stymied. "But you _sounded_ surprised."

"I thought your royal genes were enough for you to get by." Yang says seriously. "Sorry."

"I don't have... royal genes." she splutters.

"Ellis Grey?" Yang says, incredulous. "Surgery is all over your DNA. You're...inbred. You have surgical pedigree."

"I study." she says, finding nothing better to say. "And if anyone's pedigreed, it's my sister. Ellis Grey _and_ Richard Weber. She couldn't have been anything but a surgeon if she tried."

"True." Yang says. "Hey, speaking of your kid sister, she did a pretty cool pericardiocentesis in the ER today. Totally hardcore."

"I stopped being surprised at Maggie when she was three." she replies. "How's the patient?"

"High as a kite, apparently. It's the one who ran off with Avery's ID card yesterday. Now, _he's_ definitely inbred. Pretty, but inbred."

"Huh." she replies. "The one we shocked?"

"Yup."

"Jackson said she's really smart, has a photographic memory or something." she says distractedly. " _She'd_ be a top notch surgeon without having to slog."

"Wanna go see if she remembers Avery's code?" Yang snickers, perking up. "We could use it to mess with his time records. Lock him out before he hits eighty hours. Think of all the surgeries we could steal from him."

"Yeah," Meredith says. "Lets go."

* * *

"What the-" he stumbles over something soft on the floor, whacking his head against the wall.

"Ow."

It's small, but distinct. The heap definitely said something.

"Wh- Meredith?" Derek asks, recoiling. "What the hell?"

"I have a sister." she sobs.

"Yes...?" he says slowly. "Margaret. I met her, she's very nice."

"And I never even knew her." Meredith gasps, rocking back and forth. "I never even knew."

"Ellis said you two are close." he says, mystified. He needs his wallet from his office and then he's good to go. Addison and Grace are ready and waiting, Addison having consented to spending at least the night in their own home. The last thing he needs is a hysterical one-night-stand.

"No, not Maggie." she whimpers. "Lexie, I have a half sister called Lexie and I never even knew."

She's red-faced, her small body shaking as she tries to draw breath against her clenching muscles. He kneels hesitantly, rubbing tentative circles on her damp back. "Breathe. Meredith, breathe-"

"I can't." she gasps. "I can't, Alex ... and my mother hates me and I let my father die and now my sister might die."

He can make neither head nor tail of what she just said, but she's starting to wheeze and he darts down the hall to a supply closet and returns with a paper bag.

"Breathe." he says gently, taking her slack weight as she falls back against him. Her hair is soft, tickling his nose, and it smells like a flower he can't quite name, but he knows it's his favorite.

"I can't." she whimpers again. "I not supposed to."

"Not supposed to breathe?" he barks a laugh, surprised. "I hardly think so."

"No," she whispers. "I can't sit here with you and listen to you and let you be nice to me...because I'm not supposed to love you. Don't you get it?"

* * *

 ** _This is definitely MerDer. No, I can't give you an exact time when it becomes MerDer, I write as it comes._**

 ** _Don't leave rude reviews about Addek on a story that isn't even about them._**

 ** _And speaking of reviews...please can I have some? They make my day._**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hey Patsy! No, I haven't forgotten. I actually finished off this chapter exrra-quick for you - it's really motivating when I know someone is waiting to read my writing. Hope you - and everyone else - enjoy this._**

* * *

"For the love of God, Addison."

"I said I'd stay here." she says flatly from somewhere behind the door. "I never said I wanted to spend the night in that room."

"You love that room." he cajoles, placing his palm against the door. He can hear the slight rustle of fabric, like she's rocking the baby. "You said it was the best part of the house. It's why you made us buy this house."

"I did like the room." she replies, footsteps moving away from the door. "Before you screwed your resident in it."

" _Language_ , Addison." he snaps before he can stop himself.

"She's three days old." she retorts. "And asleep. And you did. Screw your resident in it. And you're not even denying it."

Well. No point lying. Meredith's lurid pink sweater lying on the bedroom floor was enough for Addison to realise what had happened. And then she locked herself in the nursery.

"No, Addie." he says patiently. "I'm not going to lie to you. What happened with Meredith was-"

"The final straw?"

"No," he winces. "I- I wasn't thinking."

"Clearly."

"You'd just told me you were carrying another man's child," he reminds her. "I thought-"

"That you could go ahead and trash our vows?"

"I thought you already had!"

"Well, I only said that because you were so _miserable,_ " she says, her voice hitching. "And so was I. We dragged ourselves out here to start over and fix our marriage, Derek, but we ended it worse...you wouldn't even _look_ at me anymore."

"Addie-"

"Go away," she half-sobs.

"Addison?" No way. Addison doesn't cry. Not like this. She sat on the edge of their bed, next to his best friend, and told him with impenetrable calm, dry-eyed, that she loved Mark.

"Damn it." she whispers.

"I'm coming in." he decides; it's easy to find the set of keys in a drawer and let himself into the darkened nursery.

She's in the glider, Grace napping in her arms. She's trying valiantly to wipe away the tears coursing diwn her face, but it's hard without hands.

"I'm sorry." he says, reaching for his daughter.

"I'm hormonal." she mutters, reaching for a tissue. No sleeves for Addison.

"Let me help." he says gently, lowering Grace into the bassinet. "She's both of ours, Addie. Wherever we go from here, she'll always need both of us."

* * *

"Shit." he mutters, snappin on a pair of gloves. "Which one of you incompetent morons left her alone?"

"I...was monitoring her." splutters the small one, with the glasses. Billy. No. Bailey.

"Get your eyes checked again." he snaps. Cruel. Addison would kill him for it, but she isn't here. She's at home, with Derek and their baby. He's here, saving junkie girl again.

"I ruined a good shirt getting that crazy girl to the hospital," he curses, trying not to let the fumbling fingers tying his gown annoy him. "What sort of backwater is this anyway?"

"We're a level one trauma center." Bailey says indignantly.

"Who let you in?" he taunts, shoving past the diminutive resident into the OR.

..

He's watching Yang thread the catheter deftly, seeming not to need him at all. But she's just a resident. He needs backup.

"Who paged Cardio?" he demands.

"I did." Bailey replies. "They said they'd be here, but it's three am-"

"Do they have something better to he doing?" he snaps. "The head. Torres, right? You bet she'll hear about this tomorrow."

"Dr. Sloan." Bailey says, drawing herself up. "With all due respect, no one expected this girl to throw a clot in the middle of the night. We couldn't have predicted it. She shouldn't have. But she did. And you were here, and now you're fixing her, and you'd be doing a better job of it if you'd stop whining about how Cardio isn't here."

There's a beat of silence, and then he breaks it by laughing out loud.

"Bailey, you're almost a vertebrate now

* * *

..

"What?" she says briskly,striding inti the OR. There's a tall, burly man standing opposite her, and from where she's standing, his eyes are shadowed.

" _Owen?_ Who has the kids? And what are you even doing here?"

"I'm not Owen." the man peers up at her. "And I don't have kids. Yours or mine. Although I could change that, if you wanted."

"Who are you?" she asks, stepping up to the table. Bailey looks at her furtively above her mask, then away.

"Mark Sloan, your new head of Plastics." he say casually, tossing the last hemostat into a basin. "Close up, pretty boy."

Avery fairly dances over to the table, beaming behind his mask.

"Are you _insane_?" she demands. "You're not a cardiac surgeon. You could have-"

"Waited for you to get off your ass?" he drawls, raising an eyebrow. "Torres. I can do an embolectomy."

"No you can't!"

"Just did." he grins insouciantly.

"How dare-"

"Are you always this uptight?" he snaps, the grin fading. "I saved her damn life. For the second time today. And for your information, I'm double-board certified in plastic and ENT. And I had help."

He jerks a thumb towards...Yang. She didn't even notice the slight woman standing there; she can feel those dark eyes in her back now.

"She's good" she accepts.

"Bit creepy?" Sloan shudders.

"Very creepy." she sighs.

"You don't look like a Cardio girl." he observes, turning on the tap to scrub out.

"No?"

"I'd peg you for...Ortho. Maybe general." he says, drying off.

"I'm a Cardio girl." she sniffs. "Hey. My husband has the kids, so what say we go get a drink. On me, to apologise for biting your head off."

"At three in the morning?"

"Milkshakes?"

"Sure." he smiles. Wow. Hot.

"Wait." he frowns. "I have no shirt."

"Huh?"

"Junkie girl," he explains. "I nearky ran her over in the road, got blood all over me carrying her in here. And there's no way I'm going out in public dressed in scrubs like some kind of...intern."

"Damn." she sighs. "Rain check?"

"Definitely."

"Hey!" she yells at his retreating back. "Sloan? Are you _that_ Sloan? Manhattan Sloan? Addison's...lover?"

"You could put it that way." he snorts. "She wouldn't agree."

.

Huh. Addison and Derek Shepherd aren't McPerfect after all. Who would've known.

Not that she blames Addison at all. That Sloan is eyewateringly hot. And Derek is so...gloomy.

Except that she's very, very sure that Grace is Derek's child. Those eyes.

Speaking of children, she should probably check in on hers. She left Owen snoring in their bed, Garret sprawled across her side. Tess and Will were mercifully in their own beds, but are now probably piled next to their father too.

She wonders how Owen managed to fall into an instrument tray - the man's a war surgeon, you'd think he had better coordination.

That reminds her. Garret left his bear in daycare, and Owen picked it up and forgot it in his locker. Men. She'll just go get it.

She keys in the combination, screwing up her nose at the rank smell. Gym lockers have smelled beer. The bear is at the back, perched on a sloppy stack of files. She reaches for it, dislodging a post-it stuck to the metal wall. It flutters out and to the floor, and she bends.

Frowns. She'd know that writing anywhere. The spiky, jerky letters, oen pressed so hard they're indented into the paper. She sees it every day, in all her patient's charts. Yang.

It just says _Dr. Wyatt,_ and a phone number. A date, tomorrow's.

* * *

"Not now!" she yells, pulling her pillow over her head.

"Come on, Mer!" Maggie says excitedly. "It'll be fun!" Right A sleepover. 're ten. Pulling teeth would fun.

"I have rounds at six." she grouses, clamping the pillow tighter. She just wants to be left alone.

Her mother hasn't shown her face yet, and her father - Richard - is down the hall, presumably snoring. She can hear Maggie padding away.

Her father Thatcher is dead. He died, and she didn't even know it. She's half him, she has his nose and his chin and of his _ordinariness_ , which her mother regularly accuses her of, but she didn't feel anything when he died.

She only found out when her half-sister showed up half dead. Her sister she didn't know anything about, either.

She didn't know her fiancé was screwing her best friend.

How clueless is she? How much has she missed, how many details have eluded her?

Not anymore. Ellis can keep her wool; she's pulled it over her eyes long enough. Meredith is about to take charge.

.

Maybe not. She realises just how dumb this is. She remembered the address well enough from her dash of shame earlier that week, and now she's standing here shivering and reconsidering.

They're busy with the baby, she reasons. Addison doesn't need her husband's drunken mistakes on her doorstep.

Like, drunken in more ways than one. The tequila Cristina bought her is... let's just say it's stronger than she's used to.

But she's doing it. She's going to tell Derek it will never, ever, _ever_ happen again. He's her boss. Her boss's boss.

Her boss's boss's _husband_.

His marriage is over.

But he has a kid, she reminds herself.

But he said he didn't regret what happened.

But he's _married_.

"Meredith?" he asks, confused. Shit.

"The neighbors said there was someone at the door." he says, stepping outside and closing it behind him. "What are you doing here?"

She can hear shrill screaming behind him, and he shrugs apologetically. "We're both exhausted."

"I..." she shuffles awkwardly. He's a father and a husband. She's officially a homewrecker. Might as well get this iver with.

"Are you _drunk_?" he frowns. "What the hell?"

"My father is dead." she explains.

" _Richard_?" Derek splutters. "What happened? Okay, I'll tell Addie - no, she'll want to come too,"

"No." she says quickly. "My...biological one. Thatcher. Thatcher Grey? He died. So, I just wanted to say, I'm _done_ playingy mother's fool. I'm not gking to be small anymore. I'm going to take _charge_. Oh god. Alex says that."

"Weber?" Addison asks, shaking her head. Her hair is loose and unstyled, her face bare, but she's even prettier this way. She's also holding a screaming baby.

"Come here." Derek says tenderly, cradling the bundled up baby. "What's the matter?"

"The matter is that your mistress is here," Addison says curtly.

"I was just leaving." she says hastily, turning around, blinded by the headlights pulling up the drive.

 _Dr. Sloan?_

"Well, this is awkward." Dr. Sloan grins, bouncing back on his heels.

* * *

 ** _I'm enjoying writing all this weird shit._** ** _Let me know if you are too!_**

 ** _Reviews really really motivate me, especially if you leave little suggestions about what you would like to see._**

 ** _Also, remember it's MerDer endgame. It isn't fun if there's no struggle. Please don't start roasting me or the story. It'll happen._**

 ** _So please, review, review, REVIEW!_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey! I know I haven't updated this in forever, so to recap -**_

 _ **Meredith and Cristina are becoming friends, and have discovered Lexie.**_

 _ **Meredith got drunk as a result and turned up at Derek's house.**_

 _ **Mark and Addison are debating their relationship**_

 _ **Read on!**_

* * *

"Hello there." Mark beams, motioning for Addison to hand him the baby. "Are you tired of all the dumb grownups, Huh? Is that it?" He walks off cradling Grace, whose wails decrease in volume as he rocks her.

Huh. Mark's always been good with babies - he's watched many a girl fall for the Mark Sloan with a baby act, actually, but he's never really imagined Mark being the one to get his daughter to stop crying.

The silence feels amazing.

Addison clearly thinks so too, pulling the ends of her robe tighter around herself, but she still looks drained and tired, leaning against the glossy dark front door.

"Go inside, Addie." he says.

"Why, so you can screw your mistress on the front porch?" she snipes.

Meredith, even through her alcohol-fueled haze, looks offended.

"I'm not his...mistress." she hiccups, swaying a little. "Just...just a girl he met in a bar."

"Nice."

"And he's just a guy," Meredith hums dreamily. "That I met in a bar."

"Do something, Derek." Addison hisses at him, eyes flicking through the row of trees at the edge of their property towards the lights of their neighbours home.

"Meredith, let me drive you home." he offers, but Meredith just grins widely at him.

"Take me for a riiiide." she giggles. "Hey, Derek-"

"I'm going inside." Addison says, sounding disgusted. "At least turn the porch light off."

* * *

The baby is very quiet now, lying placidly in his arms, staring up at him with those piercing blue eyes.

"You're real pretty, you know that?" he hums softly, stroking the bottom of her miniscule foot. "Just like your mom."

"Thanks." Addison mumbles, disgruntled. "That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week."

"I might be a little biased." he says, leaning over the arm of the sofa, close enough that her hair brushes his face. She smells sweet, citrusy.

"Don't." she mumbles, pulling away.

"It's over, Addison." he says, as gently as he can. "Your marriage is over, all you have to do is admit it, and you can come -"

She just stares at him, lips parted, but before she can say anything Derek has entered the living room, holding Weber's elbow gingerly as he guides her around furniture.

"Aw, she's so cute." Weber beams.

Addison smiles reluctantly.

"She looks like you," Meredith squeals at Addison. "Hi, baby! HIhi!"

"Derek, shouldn't you...drive her home, or something?" he says pointedly. This is a very, very messed up scenario. Derek and Addison are married but Derek had a one night stand with Meredith _while_ Addison was in labor but he didn't care because Addison lied and told him it wasn't his baby, it was Mark's baby, but then Derek showed up anyway because he's decent like that and he loves his best friend's wife and that is enough to make his head spin.

"Yes, please." Addison says dispassionately. "Before she starts vomiting.."

"I don't puke." Meredith says proudly. "I'm not a ...a wuss. I can hold my alcohol." She hiccups, looking bemused.

"Good for you." Derek says, catching her by the shoulder as she starts to tip over.

"If she starts smashing into things I'm holding you responsible." Addison hisses at Derek.

"Oh, so you're worried about your _knicknacks_?" Derek asks.

"Yes. And they're not mine, they're ours."

"I don't want any of this." Derek gestures at the living room, which looks like it fell out of an architectural magazine. "You can keep it."

"Can we discuss your property division later?" he cuts in. Weber looks very woozy, and he doesn't want to be explaining to Ellis Grey how her daughter ended up unconscious.

"I don't know where she lives." Derek mutters.

"How do you not, we've been to Ellis' for dinner three times last month." Addison snaps. "Oh, but I forgot - you never came."

"I had work."

"And the rest if us didn't." Addison says sarcastically. "Just you, the big shot brain surgeon -"

"You're saying brain surgery isn't interesting?" Derek demands.

" _Shut_ up." he bellows loud enough to wake Grace, who begins to cry.

Addison steals her away expertly, soothing her with soft murmurs. Meredith watches in fascination.

"She has a baby voice." Meredith says, awed. "She -Shepherd is using a baby voice."

"It is my baby." Addison replies, giving Meredith the kind of look she reserves for particularly incompetent interns and things on the bottom of her shoe. "And I use my baby voice all the time at work."

"I've never been on your service all that long." Meredith muses.

"Your mother." he says sagely. "You mother, I think, likes you to be on cardio."

"I don't like to be on cardio."

"Well, you can have this discussion later." Addison snaps. "Derek, get her out of here. _Derek._ "

Derek looks up from his phone, startled. "Eh?"

Addison points at Meredith, who by this point is poking a squeaky toy of Grace's, giggling.

"It's Ellis." Derek waves his phone. "She has a patient in the ER -"

"Don't even think about it." Addison warns.

"I'm already on her shit list." Derek protests.

"You are on a lot of people's shit lists." Addison promises. "Including mine."

"Addie, please -"

"Your mistress is going through my laundry." Addison says tightly. Meredith holds up a tiny babygro, cooing.

His phone chooses that moment to ring. Derek jumps a bit, like he's just remembered Mark is there too.

"Looks like Hitler wants me too." he says, cheerfully, to defuse the situation. "Gotta go. Bye, Addie. Don't drop the baby."

Derek starts following him, maybe hoping he can get out without his wife noticing.

"Take her with you." Addison begs.

"The baby?" Derek seems perplexed.

"No, your twelve year old girlfriend."

"I'm not twelve." Meredith corrects. "And I'm not his girlfriend."

Addison sucks in her cheeks.

"I can't." Derek says. "Ellis is there, and if she sees her like this -"

"Oh, he's all protective." Addison sneers.

"I'll take her home when I come back." Derek promises. He kisses the baby, gives his wife a painfully awkward shoulder-squeeze-hug and barrels outside.

"Mark. Help." Addison pleads.

"Just keep her out of trouble for a half hour." he shrugs. "I'll bet she's easier than the baby."

"Mark." Addison looks desperate.

"I love you." he grins, edging away.

 _Why_ is his life so messed up?

* * *

"You have a _really_ pretty house." she sighs. This couch is so soft...she's sinking into it, clutching a silky pillow to her face. "You're so pretty."

Addison _is_ pretty. Even with baby vomit in her hair. Even Alex thinks she's hot.

She tells this to Addison, who looks disgusted.

"Get up." Addison says shortly.

"I don't think I can." she says after a pause, embarrassed. Her legs are jellyfish right now. She imagined herself drifting around with squirmy tentacles for legs, stinging people. She'd sting Alex first.

"Maybe April can pee on him then." she says. Addison blinks, then shakes her head.

"I mean, that's what you do, right? You pee on people?"

"What the fuck are you talking about."

"When a jeffy - fleshy... jellyfish! When a fleshyjiff stings you? You pee on 'em, right?"

"I don't know. On the jellyfish? Or on the person?" Addison seems to be considering this seriously. "I think so. I hope Derek gets stung."

"I don't think we have them in Seattle."

"Shame."

"I'm sorry." she ventures after a while. "About your husband. I...I don't know what I was thinking."

Addison shrugs. "To be fair, I had just told him I was pregnant with Mark's baby."

"But she isn't Mark's." she confirms, looking at the baby, all cuddly in her blanket. She wants a blanket... she pulls something soft off the back of the couch. Addison seems annoyed, but doesn't say anything.

"No. And stay out of my personal life, Weber."

"Sorry." she hiccups. She was actually starting to feel comfortable with Addison. She's always seemed so ... out of reach, all glamorous and beautiful and awesome. Seeing her in baby puke and milk is oddly normalising.

But she seems to have reverted to her usual form, Ice Queen Bitch.

"I'm sorry about the bathroom too." she says, just to get it off her chest. "I puked in there. Also the robe, I had to borrow it."

"You slept with my husband." Addison rolls her eyes. "The rest is small stuff."

"I'm a homewrecker." she sobs. Addison's shoulder is so comfortable, and her robe is really absorbent. "I wrecked your home. And you just had a baby..."

The baby stares up at her, her eyes all blue and inquisitive. A fat tear lands on her teeny cheek.

"Stop... crying on Grace." Addison says, patting her awkwardly. "And get off me."

"Don't beat yourself up too much." Addison says with a gusty sigh. "Derek and I were pretty much over anyway. I mean, I _do_ wish he hadn't decided to become an adulterer... but even if you hadn't come along I think we would have ended it."

"Why?" she asks curiously. Derek said the same thing. She's always thought the Shepherds were the Brangelina of Seattle Grace Mercy West, they're both so beautiful ... and talented, obviously, and ...

"How much have you had to drink?" Addison asks suddenly.

"A _lot._ " she answers. "Like... a lot."

"I need adult conversation." Addison confesses. "I'm not speaking to my asshat husband, and Grace is precocious but I don't think she really understands what I'm saying... anyway. You're drunk. You won't remember this in the morning."

"I never remember things in the morning."

"Well," Addison hesitates. She sees a sort of _oh, screw it_ expression cross the woman's face, and she plunges onwards.

"You see, Derek and I, we got married when we were pretty young. And I'm not saying I didn't love him - I did - and he was in love with me... but we were married for _ages_. And he was so obsessed with work and with being the best that we kind of drifted apart, and we were friends with Mark since med school. Close friends. And Derek and he literally grew up together, and Mark was always _there._ You know what I mean?"

She nods, trying to look like she's following. She is, almost.

Addison nods back. "I realised ... I was in love with _Mark._ He was the one I was going to, to talk, or whatever, I was spending more time with him than my actual husband, and then -"

"You slept with him?" she gapes.

"No!" Addison exclaims.

"Oh, right. That's not what Derek said." she mutters, feeling her face burning. "He said he came home... and he saod something really dramatic about knowing his life was about to change -"

"Typical." Addison mutters.

"- and you and Mark were just sitting there." she finishes.

"Yeah. We stopped ourselves before it went too far - Derek was my husband and Mark's best friend. We couldn't hurt him, not like that... so I said, he could be either _in_ the marriage, or I was leaving."

"Badass."

"Thank you. And then he decided we should come out here to this mildewed hellhole, to start over." Addison says. "You know the rest of it."

"And then he slept with me?"

"There were things in the middle, I guess." Addison says. "The relatively minor fact that I was pregnant being one of them. But yes, you sleeping with him was basically the end."

"Are you relieved?" she asks. "I was relieved when I caught Alex with his tongue down Kepner's throat. I didn't realise it at the moment, but I didn't really want to marry Alex."

"Kepner and Karev?" Addison says, snorting with laughter. She looks completely different when she laughs, almost human and not a doll. "I never did understand what you saw in Alex, anyway."

"No?"

"Did he make you happy? Did he make you laugh?"

"I think it was more...like I was laughing _at_ him." she says after some thought. "And he was miserable in bed. Derek is amazing -"

Oh. Oh god. She did _not_ just -

Addison looks like she might hurl. " _Do not. Ever._ Under _any_ circumstances discuss my husband's abilities in bed with me."

"Sorry." she whimpers.

"You're better off without Alex." Addison shrugs, apparently recovered. "You're young. Really good sex is important."

"Was it _really_ good? With -"

"Stop right there."

"Mark. I was gonna say with Mark."

"We -"

"Oh, right. No action." she remembers. Addison turns a weird shade of reddish pink.

"Oooh. You wanna."

"Shut up."

"You're blushing." she giggles. God, why can't she stop giggling? It's getting embarrassing.

"Am not."

"Why haven't we had a chat like this before?" she asks, managing to quell the giggles. "You're so _nice._ To talk to. Like a real girl friend."

"Because," Addison says sweetly, leaning in. "You are drunk off your ass and you will remember exactly none of this tomorrow morning, plus you will have a hangover, and we're out of coffee since Derek considers himself to be above grovery shopping. So. Karma is a bitch, isn't it, Meredith?"

* * *

"Twenty says Addison kills her and buries the body in the backyard." Mark says. He clambered into his car, saying it was better for the environment. This is annoying firstly because he has to listen to Mark prattle away all the way to the hospital, and secondly because it means Mark will accompany him back home to get his own car.

"I'll give you twenty to shut up."

"I'll pass." Mark shrugs. "Your girlfriend is cute."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Mistress?"

"Mark -"

"Revenge?" Mark suggests quietly. "Admit it, you just wanted to hurt Addison."

Maybe.

Mark knows him far too well.

"That was a part of it." he says. "But mostly... I was just a guy in a bar, and she was there and -"

"You are so fucking dramatic."

"I thought my wife was pregnant with your baby !"

"Addison made herself miserable for years, for _you._ " Mark yells. "She stuck with you even though you were about as present as a doorknob. She literally lied about the paternity of her baby to get rid of you, Derek, she was willing to risk her reputation just to give you an out. She decided _that_ was preferable to being an adulterous -"

"Look, I'm sorry." he says. He is. "I've said to Addie, I'm saying it to you."

"I'm not accepting it."

"I don't care."

"Buy me a drink and I will." Mark challenges.

"I have no obligation to make you feel better." he grits his teeth. "You are in love with my wife."

"And you," Mark taps him on the arm as he pulls into the parking lot. "Are not."

* * *

Derek Shepherd and Dr. Sloan arrive together, bickering. She doesn't understand their dynamic, but they are both expert surgeons and she needs them.

"What do we have, Chief ?" Shepherd asks.

"MVC, forty year old male with multiple fractures and crush injuries, GCS of eight. Hunt is in right now, we're waiting on Cardio for a potential punctured lung."

"Cardio's here." Yang reports, tying on her gown.

"I asked for Dr. Torres." she says, irked. "This is a complicated case."

"Torres went home." Yang shrugs. "She said something about talking to her husband... who I see is here, so she's probably going to be pissed. If you don't mind, I'll go save a life now." The young woman breezes past all of them, leaving her momentarily speechless. Sloan looks like he might laugh.

"Well, page Meredith." she calls after Yang.

Derek coughs. "Dr. Grey -"

"Yes?"

"Meredith is... at my house. She showed up... inebriated... we thought it was best she sober up there." he says, looking very much like he wishes the ground would swallow him up.

"She's drunk?" she splutters. Dear god. That girl is so irresponsible. She pulls out her phone to call Richard, when he turns up beside her.

"Hi, darling. I never went home. Isn't it lucky? I can help you with this trauma."

"Richard, I need you to go get Meredith."

"Where is she?" he asks, perplexed. "I thinks she's not on call tonight."

"She's with Addison at their house, probably having a conversation she will regret. Or possibly she's been murdered." Sloan answers.

" _What ?"_

"Just... go." she mutters. She can feel Shepherd and Sloan goggling at her, waiting for her response.

"You go." Richard says.

It's her turn to splutter, staring at her husband. "Excuse me?"

"You go," Richard repeats. "I'm going in on this case. You're free - you go."

"Richard."

"I've been buried under the merger paperwork all day." Richard smiles, kissing her cheek. "I need to do some surgery. Bye, darling."

* * *

"Let's set up for a TEE." she says, scanning through the lab tests someone hands her. "Okay."

Hunt stares at her like he's just met her. "What are you doing here, Yang?"

"Starting a conga line."

He doesn't get it. He continues to stare at her like she's sprouting horns.

"Where's Callie?" Hunt asks, clearly with some effort.

"She asked me to run this." she shrugs. "I think she went home."

"Apparently not." Avery murmurs. Torres is making her way into the room, getting tangled in her gown and dropping gloves.

"You're here?" Torres hisses at Hunt. "Where are the kids?"

"In your office, sleeping." Hunt answers. "Where the hell were you?"

"I was ... researching." Callie says evasively. "Damn it. Looks like a ventricular -"

"Rupture." says Margaret Pierce. She's appeared in the doorway, looking eager. "May I scrub in?"

"No." she says at the same time Torres says yes. They stare at each other for a moment, and Torres narrows her eyes and does a weird head - jerk thing.

"Well, if you don't need me on this I'll go home." she shrugs.

"I need you." Torres yelps. "I mean... for something else."

"Cal, are you all right?" Owen asks.

" _I_ am perfect." Torres huffs. "Great. Really awesomely good."

Maggie looks a little freaked out by this.

"This is totally normal for her." she assures Maggie. "Go ahead and book an OR."

"We need to talk." Callie hisses in her ear. "Wait until I get out of surgery."

* * *

"Addison, I apologise for the inconvenience -"

"It's all right." Addison smiles. She looks ...serene, cradling her baby daughter and sitting with her legs tucked under her. Meredith is passed out at the other end of the couch, reeking like a distillery.

"I don't know what's gotten into her." she confesses. Meredith was always stubborn, but this, getting drunk and embarrassing herself in front of her superiors is just too much.

"She's young and in love." Addison says, sounding mellow. "It happens to all of us. "

She shudders as she realises what this means. Meredith came here on her own, confirming her doubt about her and Shepherd.

And yet Addison is sitting there, singing softly and looking utterly unkempt.

"Oh." she says, looking up. "Yes. She did sleep with my husband."

She has a sudden urge to check Meredith's pulse, but her daughter assuages her fears by snoring loudly.

"Addison -"

"It's all right." the woman smiles. "We were going to end it anyway."

She's still reeling from the discovery that her daughter slept with one of her top surgeons when Addison hurls another bomb.

"Not to get into the details, but I told Derek Grace wasn't his baby, so he wasn't thinking straight." Addison confesses. "I mean, I _do_ want to kill him with a butter knife, but in all fairness he was very upset that night. And so was she." Addison gestures to Meredith. "It's good she broke up with Alex."

Hormones, she decides. It must be all the oxytocin.

"And don't worry," Addison says airily. "I'm not leaving the hospital. I like it there - plus I intend to beat the crap put of Derek. After I get back from maternity leave, of course. Right now I have stitches in places no one wants any."

..

Meredith wakes up furious.

"Get out." she demands, pulling what looks like a baby blanket over her face. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Meredith, let's have this discussion at home." she says sternly. She wishes desperately Richard were here. This is his forte.

"I'm not coming home." Meredith says, peeking over the lace edge of the blanket.

"Meredith!"

Addison covers her baby's head, shushing them.

"You're a lying liar." Meredith snarls.

"I will not be spoken to like that."

"Good. I don't _want_ to speak to you." Meredith says, triumphantly. Addison has to hide a smile in her daughter's hooded blanket.

Just wait till that adorable baby is older, she thinks viciously. She'll probably embarrass you too, she thinks. And make you wish you could just evaporate.

"You lied to me. You hid my sister." Meredith says, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Margaret?" Addison asks. "Isn't she in Seattle now? Wow, she's _really_ drunk."

"No, Alexandra." Meredith says tremulously. "Lexie."

"I can explain." she says, in low tones. "Meredith, dear, let's -"

"My father died and you didn't say anything." Meredith screams.

"Richard?" Addison gasps. "What -"

"No, my other one." Meredith explains, wiping her nose on the cashmere blanket.

"Oh," Addison nods.

"I hate you! You are the most cold, _withholding_ mother -"

"I have one of those too." Addison interjects. She frowns at Ellis. "You shouldn't have kept her from her sister."

"Right?" Meredith says excitedly. "You understand!"

"But I agree you should go home." Addison continues, bouncing the baby, who is fussing.

"Right. Sorry." Meredith mutters. She tries to stand up, pitches forward, and knocks her head on the coffee table. "Ow."

"Stop staring at my breasts." Addison frowns, draping the blanket over her shoulders as she feeds the baby.

"I'm not." Meredith explains. "It's just that I can't get up. But they're very nice breasts."

"Thanks." Addison says, mollified.

She slips an arm around her daughter's body, hauling her sweaty body to standing. She also manages to drag her phone one- handed from her purse and answers impatiently when she sees it's Jackson Avery.

"Dr. Grey, it's Lucille Ball - I mean, Junkie Girl.. uh, Alexandra? She's crashing."

* * *

 _ **I realised that I actually had most of this written, so I decided to fix it up and post. I forgot how much I enjoy writing this story.**_

 _ **Please, please, please review!**_


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